Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. I always root for the little guy. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. 99. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Maybe their roommate was sick. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! 96. I'm fine. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. 9. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). 25. Feel my shirt. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow You may join me, though. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? However, I dont recall anything about morons. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. So, you changed your mind? I hope you like some of them. So much better than most people. 18. Im not single. You're the reason God created the middle finger. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Were already married, remember?! Are those space pants? Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition But half the time, it is a nightmare. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. 39. No, waitIm actually plural. Usually, people live and learn. Hmmph. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. 1. "Any day above ground is a good day. I dont feel that great, but look! Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. 11. 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective 3. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. 91. You look tired. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. I repeat I am plural! I'm afraid I can't do that. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Sounds like effort to me. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com I hope you are at your best too. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. 75. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. How impressive! Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. I just woke up like that one day. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. 36. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. You might just find one. 14. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Shane from The L Word? 17. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. funny response to are you still alive. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 90. 58. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Im too expensive. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Liked what you just read? Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. No, they're prison pants. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? response, because I need clarity in my interactions. "Alright. 31. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Thats why Im single. How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Stop asking me why Im single! Im jealous of people who dont know you. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. How Am I Still Alive. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes Have you met food? Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. You just live. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. (This line came from the cartoon show. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. I really thought you already knew. . If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. 101. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". I like being single. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. 7. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. This one is bound to get a laugh. Take Your Time. We all grow up as we get older. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? The following two tabs change content below. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. 4. Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! How do you think that I am doing? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Because Jamaican me crazy! Here's another way to respond to your crush. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. 82. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. Hi! In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Life is up to something. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? To contact our editors please use our contact form. I cant really complain, but I will still try. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? I died last week, since then. What to Say When Someone Calls You Cute? - Beezzly That's impossible. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. I never even listen when you tell me them. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 93. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Impressive! Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. You win the internet. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. This one is good. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Are you still alive? Follow for more funny content!! #fyp #bask You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 12. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. My guardian angel be like 2. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. 48. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Not Bad. To text, most of us need our thumbs. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. But, they will grow up into a dog. 12. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Because Im awkward and ugly. It could always have been worse. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Follow for more funny content!! When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. . Alexa's response: No, that's not true. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) 47. Not so much. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Steven Wright (comedian). I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. The hottest single of the year is me. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. Whats with all these questions? Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Keep calm and be awesome. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. I dont know. Me being single is just a conspiracy! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Is everything stable at your end? Being single is much better than being married. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People Finnish with this conversation! and our This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. What should I doI like you too much. provided, of course, that he really is dead." 10. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. 15. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 2. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering.